Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
