YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize