I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
