Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
