the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
