i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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