I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We have started to decorate penises.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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