PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
