in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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