Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
try to milk me bitch
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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