1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
