it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
