Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
