You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
