four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize