I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
