It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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