Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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