Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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