i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
