This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
this will be a night to untag.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
