you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
