so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
