Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
