alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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