I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
