My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
