I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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