I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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