I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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