i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
