you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
As shirtless as possible
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
