I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
