you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
