I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
