My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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