No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
