I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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