So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
