Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
