He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize