The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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