I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
