Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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