Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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