I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
