Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
