How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
