Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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