I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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