What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
