you guys were way drunker than both of me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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