Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
