Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
