We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
