Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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