i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
