They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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