Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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