You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
