how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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