So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize