He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
